In a land where mesas loom above numerous traffic circles testing drivers’ sobriety, I continue to persevere. The result after five weeks of a demanding recording regimen? Eleven (of 18) chapters have been meticulously recorded by a superb audio engineer here.
This means the Audible for How I Became a Lesbian (and other stories) is more than 50 percent complete.
I am the sole narrator of this collection of absurd happenings encountered over seven decades. They need to be told, at least that’s what Alice keeps telling me.
Consequently, I keep this website going, even while on the western slope of the Rockies. And if you want to wish me a joyous holiday season in return for heartfelt wishes for you, leave a comment. My late mother would add, “The more the merrier!”
Since arriving in late July to Grand Junction, Colorado, I endured an affront to my senses. A filthy toilet and an infestation of gnats were only some of the many hazards discovered in Mary Schenk’s condo next to a busy, extremely noisy intersection. Then there was her “welcoming dinner” that featured ground beef she never drained but instead incorporated into the meal. And she was unable to cook more than one dish for any meal.
Therefore, my gall bladder started acting up. So yes, I had to take over the cooking duties. That’s part of why last week the woman who promised so much, demanded that I take my possessions and move out. To where? She could care less, even though I knew nothing about Grand Junction.
When did she issue her impatient demand? On the very morning I was scheduled to begin recording an Audible of How I Became a Lesbian (and other stories).
Schenk’s attempt at sabotage failed miserably. After a week-long stay at a spotless, quiet hotel next to Grand Junction’s airport, three days ago I found an extended-stay facility with kitchenette at a reasonable, yet professional, rate. Best of all, I managed to keep two productive appointments with a studio engineer whose soundproof home and sense of excellence reveal his musical sensibilities.
Happy hour at the Grand Vista Hotel has a great benefit: A complete meatloaf dinner for 10 bucks!
My book’s introduction, preface and three chapters have been recorded already, so I’m on a roll. Nevertheless, I can’t help but feel alone. Thanksgiving is upcoming. Yet look at what this 81-year-old author has accomplished under the harshest of circumstances.
My days with Buckingham’s Quakers and as meditation facilitator at Pebble Hill tell me to express gratitude. Just look at the remarkable view from my new place, and I feel better about this sudden twist of face. No wonder traveling musicians find inspiration within the facility’s secure structure.
I complimented Travis on his weather-beaten hat. Little did I know he is a rancher with his own homestead above 8,000 feet. He is authentic, and his wife, Stephanie, agrees.
But before I can take a deep exhale, I need to update my address to several medical insurance contacts, my bank and credit cards. And I must stay positive; otherwise, it will show up while recording the Audible.
Keep the faith, baby. Keep the faith.
Moon over a multicolored dush adorning one of many mesas surrounding Grand Junction.
On July 23, I drove 625 miles from Longview, Washington to Twin Falls, Idaho, exactly a thousand kilometers for those who prefer the metric scale.
Why such an exhausting day of travel? An out-of-control wildfire known as the Durkee Fire closed Oregon’s Columbia River Gorge interstate-highway from Pendleton to Baker City, forcing us to cross over the Cascades to US Highway 20 where we motored through the mind-bending scenic Malheur Canyon. a seldom touted area of East Oregon west of the town of Burns.
The remaining 500 miles on July 25 transversing mostly interstate highways through Salt Lake City to Grand Junction, Colorado, was a relative piece of Angel’s Food Cake. Arriving shortly after 5 pm, I chose to celebrate the safe end of our sojourn at the Grand Valley Grill’s happy hour, sipping on godmothers (Amaretto and vodka) while feasting on a savory large slice of meatloaf with mashed potatoes and green beans. The complete dinner was only 10 bucks.
Whoopee! Accompanying me on such a treacherous sojourn was Mary Schenk (shown above), who volunteered to host my hasty retreat from the Washington townhouse that was sublimely decorated by my late love in life, Alice McCormick. I could not have pulled off such an audacious relocation without generous assistance from Mary, a former neighbor who grew up several houses away from my childhood home in Hialeah, Florida.
My tenancy required approval from two spirits shown above.
In case you don’t know, during the 1950s Hialeah contained America’s premier thoroughbred horse racing track. I was too young to enter the grounds then, except for Sundays. Since no racing was allowed on “the Lord’s Day,” the general public was admitted free to gawk at the hordes of white and pink flamingos taking up South Florida residence around the racetrack’s encircled manmade lake. Needless to say, I was enthralled.
Now that I have my computer finally set up, I am prepared to deal with the aftermath from Amazon’s unreadable publication of my memoir/love story, “How I Became a Lesbian (and other stories)”. And I think there is a solution. A professional musician in the foothills of the Poconos suggested I create an Audible version of the book before attempting its reissue. “More people are listening to Audible than are buying books,” he said. Considering my regard for his musicianship and history of providing assistance to fellow musicians, I have decided to follow up on this plan of action.
What do you think? Would you be interested in acquiring an Audible copy of the book? Does this idea sound good to you?
Feel free to give some feedback, because I don’t need a different kind of feedback while narrating my story in a recording studio. And if you don’t understand my play on words here, wait until you hear all of it!
My previous post showed I am writing again. It didn’t disclose what memories I uncovered during the fire.
I was knee-deep in creating the book Alice wanted me to write, currently titled, “Confessions of a Boy Soprano.” That’s when a neighbor fulfilling a relatively pedestrian task – killing weeds – interrupted my progress for more than six months.
The inappropriate tool for the task – a mini-blowtorch – set fire to the townhouse that Alice and I created, and the pleasant ambience she lent was obliterated in one careless act. There is no scent left behind; she is gone. To say I felt vindictive doesn’t tell the whole story. During the summer, my feeling of devastation was complete, and interactions with family or relatives reflected anger.
One week short of being declared a Quality Inn resident (five fucking months!), ServPro informed me I could move back home. The repainting and re-carpeting of the entire second floor was complete, and I would be able to use my office and bedroom again. Because the people who cleaned my bedding and anything else cleanable were scheduled to return all contents on Tuesday, Sept. 21st, I made preparations. “I was in high cotton,” as my late mother would say.
Even though I never spent the night in the smoke-affected townhouse, I used my unit’s washer and dryer every two-three weeks, allowing me to survive on a limited clothes’ supply. Therefore, I came back on Monday, a day before all my clothes would be returned, with plans to wash and dry my dirty ones. Once the fire damage restoration service, FRSTeam, would bring everything back clean, I could be set to write again!
No such luck.
When I put my cold-water wash inside the washer, added a Tide pod, turned on the water and listened gleefully to the sound, I breathed a deep sigh of relief.
For only thirty seconds. Thanks to the carpet installer downstairs, my feelings of joy were interrupted.
“There’s water coming down the light fixture,” he yelled. Feeling panicky, I shut off the washer.
I called ServPro, and Luna immediately showed up to determine the painter had removed the hose from the washer and, after painting the walls and ceiling behind them, had not bothered to replace the hose. No warning, no sign and no person to shield me from doing my wash.
Therefore, another claim had to be filed with Allstate, an employee washed and dried my clothes at ServPro’s facility, returned them to the motel, and I was not allowed to return to my condo for another two weeks. This felt like premature ejaculation.
With my tale of woe, and Ned Rauth’s demise, that poor man’s soul became a visible target to be shunned for my six months of banishment from home. No other significant creative energies, other than micro-managing ServPro, were spent positively.
Today I am left to wonder what effect the act of shunning might have contributed to his demise. If I dare to call myself a Quaker, what should I have done otherwise? Although shunning is regarded as non-violent, could it be considered otherwise? Should I summon my late wife’s spirit at Halloween, so I am not to blame?
Of all the comments to my last post, one particular comment affects me most: paraphrasing it says I should be grateful I was not injured and remain in one piece. But something else needs to be reported.
Because of the fire and having all my memories uprooted, I opened a box marked, “Computer & audio-video cables” followed by “Bridge Books.” I was ready to throw it out, but to confirm its contents, I opened it.
On top was a cloth-bound Baby Book shown above, which my mother, Thelma Johnston, created on the day of my birth, March 23, 1943. Apparently, it was a tradition no longer the rage during this millennium. My Baby Book contains the movements, measurements and doctor’s findings of my first two years of life, accompanied by 1943’s Halloween-day declarations by my godmother and godfather.
Underneath is correspondence my father and mother sent one another in the 1940s while he was playing club dates around the country, especially Grossinger’s Resort in the Catskills.
An amazing find 78 years after declaration by godfather Horace Gerlach.
Here are the revelations I discovered in my Baby Book. My godmother was Queen Brantley, a dearly beloved ancestor. But I am stunned to discover my godfather was Horace Gerlach, known to be Louis Armstrong’s trusted creative advisor. No wonder I performed Mozart’s most famous sonata for Louis himself! My Baby Book is family history preserved.
So yes, I am grateful. How else should I feel knowing the fire could have destroyed such a precious memento? How else should I feel, other than gratitude? I have been blessed.
Looking at this old photograph, I wonder how old I was then.
Forty years ago, I lived in Miami, Florida, a resort city where I grew up, although born in Manhattan. Being a Miami Dolphins fan had become part and parcel of a true Miamian, although the team was experiencing a so-so year. Nevertheless, the usual mild December weather, savvy tourism officials and our usually competitive gridiron team attracted ABC Sports to reschedule the Dolphins’ intra-divisional rivalry with the New England Patriots onto Monday Night Football.
Those were the days of local pro-football TV blackouts if games didn’t sell out 72 hours before kick-off, so fans like me who couldn’t afford to squeeze into the Orange Bowl were relegated to listening to the radio broadcast on station WIOD-AM.
On December 8, 1980, through the third quarter, the game had been lackluster, each team only managing to put up 6 points on the scoreboard. I lay restless on the bed, my imagination only stirred by the vivid play-by-play narration from Rick Weaver as Hank Goldberg added color commentary. As the quarter ended, the usual two minutes of commercials filled the warm night air.
Before the perfunctory station ID could be heard, though, a stern voice announced, “We interrupt this program for a news bulletin.” About 10 seconds of “dead air” followed, until the sound of a microphone moved across a table and an out-of-breath announcer uttered, “John Lennon has been shot in New York City in front of the building he loved, the Dakota, by Central Park.” He paused only a moment to clear the emotion from his voice to add, “We have confirmed that he was shot dead, killed by an unknown assailant. We now return you to our regularly scheduled program.”
I was stunned. Apparently, so were approximately 80,000 “Dol-fans” packed inside the Orange Bowl who, like me, were listening on transistor radios. It became impossible to tell the audio feed of the game’s broadcast had returned, because all one could hear was silence. The usual buzz of the shocked crowd disappeared, and it was heart-breaking. Simon and Garfunkel had it right; “Hello darkness, my old friend.”
“The Sounds of Silence” were deafening.
Tony Auth’s editorial cartoon
Two days later, I contacted the clerk’s office of the City of Miami Commission to get myself on the next meeting’s agenda. In my grief, because I heard a move was afoot in New York to reserve a section of Central Park called “Strawberry Fields” as a remembrance for Lennon, I hoped to do the same locally. A lot of “snowbirds” from New York migrated to our city during the winter. The park downtown had been officially named Bicentennial Park in 1976, and because of the newly established “New World” theme being sought for the area, I wanted to rename the park, “John Lennon New World Park.”
I contacted Miami’s top deejay, Rick Shaw, and asked him to join me at the commission meeting to stir the community into action. I also contacted Tony Auth, Pulitzer Prize-winning editorial cartoonist for the Philadelphia Inquirer, because his stunning depiction of the “scales of justice” vividly showed how one bullet outweighed the litany of music Lennon created. Auth generously blew up his cartoon and mailed it to me, which a local artist supply shop then framed.
Rick Shaw and I were virtually ignored. We sat through two hours of interminable commission procedural nonsense, our pleas ignored until our cause was referred to an obscure committee, who refused to hear the petition. Miami is not known for its progressive ideology, and the idea of a memorial to a radical “leftist” was summarily buried along with his memory.
Mason Loika, limo driver.
When I left Miami in 2003, I found a new home base in the outskirts of Doylestown, Pennsylvania, where I began to make a name for myself as a photojournalist for the Bucks County Herald. I was only paid a pittance for my work, some of it making the front page, so I kept the wolves from the door by working as a limousine driver.
Bucks County is regarded as a playground for bored Manhattanites, boasting residents best described as well-heeled who commute to the Big Apple, only 80 road miles away. That’s how I became a regular driver for a prominent public relations partner on Madison Avenue firm who owned an apartment at 1 W. 72nd Street, better known as the Dakota building, where Lennon was assassinated.
Although I drove the six-passenger limo shown above on “nights on the town,” I regularly negotiated the Hudson River’s crossings in a Lincoln Towncar, my heart leaping into the throat each time I pulled into the building’s secure alcove, avoiding the stare of camera-toting tourists looking to impose upon the building’s apartment owners.
One night while awaiting my passengers to arrive, a well-dressed, dark-haired woman with exotic features spoke to me:
“Hello there,” she said. “Do you know who I am?”
I looked around; my passengers had yet to arrive. “No, I don’t think so,” I stammered.
She answered her own question, saying, “I’m Lauren Bacall.”
My mouth dropped open. Lauren Bacall? Out of the blue? Humphrey Bogart’s heart-throb?
Before I had a chance to find my voice, my passengers arrived, and I was summarily engaged to load their bags for my humble position as a chauffeur in Bucks County. As I carefully backed out of the Dakota’s alcove, I looked around at the cameras clicking as tourists were drawn into the macabre circus-like sidewalk where Lennon was killed.
What a coincidence, though. I never bragged about my attempt to honor John Lennon back in Miami. I doubt my passengers would have cared; they lived in a world far different than me. But I will never forget the hallowed ground on which I walked, because John Lennon and Yoko Ono’s artistic expressions made a difference in this war-weary world in which we live. And their activism caused me to recognize my Quaker identity.
All they were saying – 40 years ago – was, “Give Peace a Chance.”
Last night, my draft of Chapter 3 turned into Chapters 3 and 4.
That’s because details about my father’s life, including his suicide, fit into the narrative of Chapter 3.
Virgil’s Story was written by my mother, Thelma Johnston Loika, before she passed away and gifted it to all three of her sons. I am inserting it into the book as part of my legacy.
Virgil’s Story has been on my website for many years, but few visitors have any idea it’s available online. The link to that part of my website will introduce you to his incredible history.
Sometime before the book’s publication, this extensive look at his past will disappear here and migrate onto the printed page.
I needed some time off to reflect on fast-moving events. And I thank everyone for honoring my period of reflection – and accomplishment.
An event occurred in June that reflects political correctness run amuck, something endemic to the West Coast. If the behavior of some well-meaning proponents of social change cannot recognize we share a common priority – a change in leadership – we could be doomed to four more years of madness.
The spirit inherent in writing a book of merit brings out my Quaker experience of reflection. In the long run, my support of the Aphasia Network shall be constant. Any complaint I have pales in importance to what appears in a book. These are the same sort of compromises our new activist generation needs to learn, or else the winds of change will fail to recognize ideals still thought dear.
I want to recognize Professor John White of Pacific University and speech therapist Jordan Horner for their kind assist in helping me determine the importance of my book’s contents. Also, former University of Oregon professor Melissa Hart oversaw my first three chapters and overall organization. I’m writing the book – finally!
How long can I keep my pedal to the metal? We’ll see.
One more thing: I miss Alice more now than ever.
The photo above reveals my left eye is half-closed, due to a burst blood vessel. Awww!
Above: On the wall behind me is an artist’s impression of a pianist tickling the ivories next to a photo of my father performing in a big band during the 1940s. I once played Mozart for Louis Armstrong.
Once upon a time, I rushed to create new posts each week on this website to increase the number of visitors it receives. The idea was to create anticipation for the book everyone is waiting for.
Well, last week some stupid shit hit the fan, and I’ve been spending a good amount of time and effort wiping it off my psyche. This spurred the realization that each consequential distraction interrupts the focused madness necessary to writing a complete book.
(You can anticipate what’s coming next, right?
Well, congratulations.) This website is going on hiatus for a little while.
Don’t be sad. If you want a further taste of who I am, peruse this website. A tribute to Danawa Buchanan can be found, a cross-country journey with a CHECK ENGINE light may humor you, and how my immigrant father emigrated here cum laude after arriving 101 years ago should comfort subsequent immigrants.
AT&T has managed to incorporate an amazing library into its HBOMax service, but the technological metamorphosis in how we watch television currently is overshadowing the life-changing creative accomplishment of one particular singer: Bruce Springsteen (Alice’s other heartthrob).
With little fanfare, HBO (Home Box Office) acquired Springsteen’s life achievement film, “Western Stars” from Warner Bros. Then to obscure (unintentionally, I assume) a prospective masterpiece, AT&T incorporated a vast amount of copyright-protected works to its on-demand subscription library a few weeks thereafter.
Once you locate the movie that Springsteen co-directed with Thom Zinny, “Western Stars” must be seen and heard to be believed. He invited 30 orchestra members to perform his insightful songs inside a spacious New Jersey hay-barn that holds up to 100 people. The acoustics in the barn are top of the line, and my Bose system delivers perfectly. You will notice the “Boss” doesn’t perspire at any time; he is completely attuned to the blend of sound inside the barn.
Bruce Springsteen appears intent in expressing the lyrics of his musical creation.
In the film, Springsteen himself explains, “‘Western Stars’ is a 13-song meditation on the struggle between individual freedom and communal life.
“There are two sides of the American character: One is transient, restless, solitary, but the other is collective and communal in search of family, deep roots and a home for the heart to reside. These two sides rub up against one another – always and forever – in everyday American life.”
Springsteen gleans insight from his own past behavior, and expresses it in deeply personal songs. None of his words appear inflated; if anything, his inner emotional state appears muted. Although one critic panned it, “Sleepy Joe’s Café” is nothing like the place the Coasters sang about.
If you are over-saturated with the defugalties this country is putting up with, you could do a lot worse than watch “Western Stars,” co-directed by Springsteen and Thom Zimny. You may not jump up and down, but you might shed a tear for an America that is rapidly being lost.
“Western Stars” is available through subscription to HBO/Max or Hulu. It can also be viewed through Vudu, YouTube, Google Play, Microsoft, iTunes, Fandango and Amazon, or purchased at Bruce Springsteen’s website.
