Ode to Washington, DC

For those who don’t subscribe to HBO, you probably missed John Oliver’s August 2nd hilarious take on the news.  Oliver is executive producer and star of “Last Week Tonight,” a witty roundup of outrageous acts by U.S. and foreign government officials that masquerade as news.

In the 8/2 program, he ended the program with a sing-along delivered by 19 boys and girls who seemed to understand all the song’s nuances.

The sing-along followed Oliver’s lengthy exposé of how the U.S. Congress routinely attaches riders to legislation that usurp the will of Washington, D.C. voters.  Recent referendums authorized needle-sharing programs to combat the spread of deadly infectious diseases and said “yes” to the legalization of recreational marijuana.

Congress nixed both.

The Boston Tea Party was all about taxation without representation.  How can the U.S. government justify its treatment of a mostly black population in the District of Columbia?

Hmmmm.

John Oliver’s ode to DC

Alabama and Alaska,
Arizona, Arkansas,
California, Colorado,
Connecticut and more

There are 50 states in total
And we’ll sing their names with glee
But there’s one place that gets shafted
And it’s Washington D.C.

All the rest of us can choose a path
That we think is best
But any choice that D.C. makes
Is easily suppressed

‘Cause some asshole with a rider
Who might live in Tennessee
Can destroy a needle program
For preventing HIV.

Let them have gun laws!
Let them have weed!
Let them decide
The things that they need!

And if you’re totally convinced
That there should be just 50 states
Well then let’s all kick out Florida
‘Cause no one thinks they’re great

Oh yes let’s all kick out Florida
‘Cause no one thinks they’re great.

Do I think Oliver is treating Florida fairly?  Let me answer that with two questions and answers about the “Sunshine State.”

What’s the state flower of Florida?  Concrete.

What’s the state bird?  The extended middle finger.

Those are two reasons Alice and I live in Oregon.