You know that feeling that overcomes you when functioning blind?  Not literally, but the sensation realized outside one’s comfort zone.  Visually, you can approximate the feeling by driving in foggy conditions, where you literally can’t see eight feet in front of you.

In Pennsylvania, I experienced that dysfunctional feeling several times while driving a six-passenger stretch limo, especially on icy roads, climbing the top of a snow-covered hilltop manor’s long driveway, or the disgustingly narrow Washington Crossing bridge during an ice storm, and especially downtown Philly’s jammed South Street during New Year’s Eve.  My first trip to the Dakota in Manhattan, where the late John Lennon lived, produced a similar tingling the first time I pulled inside the covered driveway of the famous 72nd Street building.

Anyway, I digressed, as I am wont to do.  Alice and I recently moved to Longview, Washington, escaping from Portland, Oregon’s growing pains and rent crisis, accompanied by a reprise of asking what happened to our stuff.

To recap, Alice and I managed some serious downsizing before moving West, so that all our possessions at our two-year Portland location were contained within a 900-square-foot apartment, plus 30 boxes of assorted stuff laid about a dusty, dingy garage.

We already had some heart-stopping moments moving out West and you can read about those here.  (Follow succeeding posts in the archive to learn the resolution.)

Preparing for our second move in three years

In looking around the Internet, which is how almost everyone functions in Portland, I came upon a moving company based in Vancouver, Washington, that specified its territory includes Longview and Portland, with nothing else beyond.  I put down a $100 deposit, and arranged a moving day for September 27th.

As typical, a plethora of tasks were left to the last minute, so we awoke before the sun did.  As the 8 o-clock AM hour began to wane, my phone rang, and the young driver managing our move explained he and his crew would arrive around 9:30.  I gave him instructions how to find our apartment, and like clockwork, three strapping young men showed up on time in a 17-foot-long box truck.

The rented garage across the parking lot was summarily emptied.  While we carefully moved our respective desktop hard drives and monitors into the Ford Escape (“Betsy”), the crew set upon the entire apartment beginning with the upstairs bedrooms.  The queen-sized bed was disassembled, and everything appeared well organized.  My fragile, well-used computer hutch was deftly moved outside.

Two flat-screen televisions were wrapped carefully.  Our newly purchased extra-long sofa was carried outside by two of the guys with nary a complaint or mishap.  As the truck’s contents rose to its top, new rows of stuff utilized its full width.  Alice and I were amazed how the guys managed to fit EVERYTHING into a small, contained space.

Nothing more could fit inside the moving truck.  While the movers were doing their thing, we toted the computer peripherals into the SUV with the rest of our PCs, nonetheless saving a prime space for Millie inside her cat carrier.  Alice packed some odds and ends from the fridge, enabling us to munch upon sustenance during the upcoming 50-mile drive.  Amazingly, everything was packed inside our respective vehicles by 12 noon.

Before setting off to our new Longview address, I asked the driver/supervisor of the crew if he was going to drive to Longview using US-30 (St. Helens Road) paralleling the Columbia River, which involves a nearly 1,500-foot ascent and descent over Cornelius Pass, the route we planned to take.  He declined, saying the crew requires a lunch break in the Vancouver, Wash. vicinity and that they “probably” would take the I-5 route to Longview.

We said goodbye to the truck, professional crew and 99% of our stuff, as we set out to Longview.  I called the carpeting/flooring installer to alert them of our arrival, checking to see if everything was copacetic, only to discover that a problem area in the upstairs bathroom required the crew to work until the midnight hour the previous night.

Arriving in Longview

The carpeting and flooring were in place though, the salesperson assured us, and all was ready for our arrival.  However, when we drove up to our newly acquired garage to unload Betsy’s booty, the carpet people were still working.

“Oh crap!” I thought, although a full crew was hastily vacuuming our newly installed carpet, promising apologetically they would finish in half an hour.  In anticipation of that deadline met, we unloaded the computers and emptied the car, nervously checking our watches, hoping the movers’ arrival would not be imminent.

“Ask, and ye shall receive.”

A half hour went by.  Then an hour had passed.  I checked the elapsed time again: an hour and a half!

“Where’s our stuff?” I worried.

Finally, I received a text from the driver: “Got stopped at weight station.  Getting inspection done.  This time will not count toward your bill.”

“Ah, finally,” I thought, wondering about the station’s location, but relieved to know there was only a slight delay.  An hour passed without further word, so I texted the supervisor again, “What is your status now?”

Within a minute, I received a reply.  “We are stuck at weight station.  There is a problem with our insurance.  We are getting it figured out.  I will let you know as soon as I know more.”

My heart sank.  “What in God’s name?” I mumbled.  I wrote back, “Is your truck being impounded?”

“No,” came the reply.  “Just can’t leave until the system is updated.”

By this time, several of our new neighbors had gathered around, volunteering to help as much as they could.  I looked around and texted, “All our neighbors are hanging about to help us with the move.”  I asked for directions to the weigh station, hoping my appearance could smooth a quicker arrival for the truck.

“I intend to drive there and see what I can do,” I wrote.

“One second,” was the answer.  “There isn’t much you can do.  It’s an issue with our insurance.  They messed up somehow and are working to fix the issue.”

Five minutes later came a phone call from the moving company’s female representative, whom I surmised was the moving company’s part-owner, and she revealed the awful truth.  Our moving company did not have the proper INTERSTATE insurance paperwork that permitted it to operate a commercial moving business from the State of Oregon to Washington.

The Washington State Police had impounded the truck, refusing further movement into Washington, although its contents belonged to Alice and me.  The only way this stalemate could be solved legally, the woman said, was for me to pick up a rental truck, pick up all our cargo, and drive it back personally to our Longview address.

WTF!  The owner was asking the impossible.  He wanted me, an Uber/Lyft driver at the ripe age of 74, to pick up a U-Haul rental truck large enough to hold our possessions – 20 feet long, but lower in height.

Heading south on Interstate-5

The clock read 4:30 pm as I proceeded to correct this move-it-or-lose-it situation.  After one wrong inquiry at a location where I received blank stares, I arrived at the correct rental spot, whereupon I learned that credit card info given to U-Haul turned out to be “not authorized.”  I waited around, twiddling my thumbs, until the owner of the moving company, who shall remain nameless, volunteered a different, acceptable credit card that absorbed the $204.29 charge.

Remember what I wrote about the feeling of operating blind as I began this website post?  Sure, I had experience with limousines, Lincoln Towncars and driving for Uber and Lyft, but steering a 20-foot-long truck in a manner compatible with other commercial drivers along Interstate 5?  Before I was able to realize the full extent of my dread, another “sizable” problem:

“I am stuck in Longview rush hour traffic adding another 10 minutes to my trip,” I texted the moving truck supervisor.  “There is a narrow lane that I am coming to, which is only 10 feet wide.  Do you think I will have a problem clearing that part of the road?”

No response.  The silence was deafening.

I gripped the steering wheel tightly in true white-knuckle fashion, barely clearing the dreaded, offending section to emerge onto the busy interstate highway and drove like I belonged there.  Nevertheless, I proceeded watchfully, looking for the weigh station 20 miles southward.

Once I recognized the station on the northbound side south of Exit 16, I turned around at the next exit.  I pulled into the offending area where I was met by the same Washington State patrolman who was the bane of our movers’ existence.  I identified myself by displaying my Oregon driver’s license.

“Okay, you can drive the truck back after it is loaded,” he ordered, “but only YOU can drive.”  He then had me claim our possessions.

Was this a official order by the State of Washington or an invitation to a mishap?

My watch read 6:30 pm, Mount St. Helens was visible in the distance and the Washington State trooper allowed the transfer to commence with one more notable proviso: The contents of the moving truck were not allowed to be unloaded onto the tarmac until reaching the back door of the U-Haul.  Everything inside the movers’ truck had to be rearranged, due to the major difference in dimensions of the two trucks.  Nevertheless, the moving crew’s supervisor managed to direct the whole shebang in 90 minutes.  None of our possessions were left behind, damaged or even dented during the entire ordeal.

The logistics in motion appear as the cover photograph of this post.

The first crew did their part, now it’s my turn

Then came the fun part.  I drove a fully loaded 20-foot rental truck – filled with all our possessions from our seasoned lives — onto a frenetically busy interstate highway in the dark of night for a full 45 minutes – past mountainsides and over Washington’s military-green bridges.

As tightly as I gripped the truck before it was loaded, I believe the veins on my wrists were on full display as I steered the truck – which seemed to have L-O-O-S-E steering.  I slowed the truck to ridiculous speed at every turn I encountered, until I pulled into the condominium’s driveway in front of our new residence.  A new moving crew had been dispatched to greet me, and I noted the time: 8:45 pm.

“Would you mind backing the truck toward your garage door?” the new supervisor asked.  I pulled forward about 10 feet, put the truck in reverse and proceeded warily until my new “friend” yelled out, “That’s okay.  I’ll take it from here.”

I hit the brake, put the gear shift into PARK, and when I stepped down from the truck’s running board, I saw why he relieved me.  I backed up the truck within a foot of the garage door.  I could have hit the damned thing!

Whew!  I was nearly done.  The crew stayed with us, asking where we wanted every item of furniture or box to be placed inside our newly carpeted, sumptuous apartment.  The moving crew worked tirelessly and when they were finished – at 11:30 pm – they said goodnight.

No one presented us with a final bill, and nothing more was communicated to us ever again.  After 2½ months of silence, it’s safe to assume the final bill was the $100 deposit for the initial contract.  After all, in return for my participation, the owner’s wife promised a “substantial” discount for getting the moving truck and crew released from their Washington Weigh-Station impoundment.

I don’t remember how we ate that day.  I know I slept like a rock after going to bed at 2 am.  Nevertheless, we’re happy in our new condominium, and Alice believes we will never have to move again.

That’s terrific news, because I never, ever want to ask myself, “Where’s our stuff?” again.  That shit gets old – fast.